is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
