She's JV to your varsity
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
