he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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