i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
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just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
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Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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