you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Naked Twister starts at high noon
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night