If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
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you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.