Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows