Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
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