he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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