My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
