so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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