I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize