after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
