all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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