At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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