lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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