Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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