i would punch a child for taco bell
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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