so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
