After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is wine microwaveable?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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