Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?