I am puke
it hurts more in the daytime
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you