New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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