So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize