my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
