talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
