Soap is not a condiment
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
