i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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