I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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