Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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