Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
