i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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