I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize