You can't special order awesome
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
