you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
