i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This is the high leading the old right now
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
