guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
