Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
