when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
