ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
