My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
