Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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