I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
