Plan B is the new Plan A
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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