Sry I called you an 8
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
