there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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