tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
