i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
