Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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