If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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