operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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