just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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