Someone shit on the floor
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
