I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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