I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
