you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
