I'm going to jail i love you
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
